Wellbeing not Happiness

There is a lot of focus in the “New-age” movement on maintaining positivity and being happy all the time. There is a major problem with this: that is not the human experience. If you are trying to be positive or “happy” all the time you are missing the point, and are actually going to build up toxicity in your life, which is why some of us talk about “toxic positivity.”

I recommend “happiness” should never be your goal. Being happy is a fleeting emotion, just like being sad or angry, and all the emotions have their place and should be experienced at the right moment- having a goal to feel a certain emotion negates the idea of experiencing life in a mindful way altogether.

Instead, I love Dr Martin Seligman’s PERMA theory of wellbeing as a framework for personal goal-setting.

P positive emotion- which can range from happy to excited to content and more

E engagement- in which you are fully engaged in an activity where self-awareness disappears and perception of time is distorted (otherwise known as flow)

R relationships- connection to others gives our lives purpose and meaning. Evolutionarily we are social animals and need social connection to thrive.

M meaning- sense of purpose and serving something bigger than oneself (spirituality, religion, and political or social involvement can satisfy this need)

A achievement– competence, success, and mastery are absolutely essential for achieving a positive wellbeing, which is part of why lifelong learning and goal-setting is so important.

It’s a combination of all of these element that can give you a measure of your wellbeing. One is not more important than another and they must each be considered as an important facet of your life. Dr Seligman also mentions that his research indicates that optimism is one of the key contributors to positive emotion and wellbeing in general.

You got this!

Talk soon,

-Michael